By: Abdullah R. Sirad
Is it wrong to be tactless in saying what we don’t like to someone whom we cared most? Is it wrong to defend them regardless of what the situation is?
I admit I did so many mistakes to all people whom I cared most but I didn’t allow a chance to pass without patching it up. To my friends, I been too cruel of telling them straight forwardly what I wanted to tell them whether it may brings them happiness or sadness. This is because I cannot afford to see them being ridiculed by other people for their shortcomings.
Nice, a friend of mine is a trying hard that he would risk everything to show that he can perform something beyond other’s expectations. His work is of an “indoor” nature where he is supposed to do more on paper work. What annoyed me much is of seeing him climbing in those towering building taking pictures to people at work and to their work as well. At his age, he doesn’t suppose to risk him self just to earn “extra” appreciation from his boss considering that he could fall and die at any time. Much to this, I always see him seemingly too tired at the end of the office hour while complaining how much he had spent of taking that report and how pain seems to crack his head and body. I tried to ignore this though in my action, it insinuates my disappointment.
One day, he sent me an email attaching all paraphernalia asking for an assistance of how he could beautifully present his report. Another email was sent asking for the reimbursement of a digital camera which he had bought for his report. To my embarrassment of what I think is “OA”, I replied him all bitter statements adding that I don’t have ample time of wasting my time dealing with people who are just doing “magpasikat”. I heard from other friends that he was deeply hurt for what I wrote towards him. I felt guilty for what I did thus I took the chance to ask sorry when we met one night in a bus. We confronted a bit about the issue but both of us forgive quickly to one another.
Sometime, we really used to say or do something that upset to someone though we don’t intentionally mean to hurt them. When you cared for someone like your better half, friends and or siblings you have to do anything as if people have to walk over your dead body before they can hurt them. We used to be protective that even when it’s wrong, we still defend them because we love them.
Dr. Vicky Belo to Dr. Hyden Kho, Jr. for instance is a good example for this. In spite of the people’s flak against Vicky, she managed to defend and support Hyden from the sex scandal controversy he have done and in fact they were able to maintain their sweet romance.
But how frequent should we forgive or ask forgiveness? I am not a preacher but by experience, the long we kept grudges in our heart is the worse it became. Remember that Satan had been exerting strong influence on the human’s heart. He will make us do wrong by presenting evil as good, making us angry, jealous, envious, and we wrong ourselves and fall prey to his temptation. Forgiving is limitless. The Almighty ALLAH (GOD) had said through Hadith Qudsi:
O Son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me ascribing no partners to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.
Will people quickly forgive Marlene Aguilar of the things she did in protecting her son, road rage killing suspect Jason Ivler from the authority? What do you think Xena and Chaesa?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
GOODBYE?!
By: Abdullah R. Sirad
What’s in the word “Goodbye” that many people believed to be the hardest expression to utter? Goodbye is a farewell remark to someone leaving. It is used to express an acknowledgement of parting. When someone is saying goodbye, it implies “good luck” to someone. But why goodbyes seem to cause scars in our heart and keep to tear our feeling?
It has been said that saying goodbye to someone who has been a part of our life is a worse thing one can experience in life. Parting away to someone who became part of our life engraved pains in our heart. It touches our soul especially when shared moments of both good and bad flashes back while being alone.
You may say feeling is mutual for someone leaving and to someone being left but for me, I would say someone being left feels much pain than someone leaving. I have some very interesting story that relates to what I am pointing out. First are photos of two birds which said to have pictured in the Republic of Ukraine where this bird is interested quickly to save his wife (Millions of people cry after watching this picture in America and Europe).
The wife got injured and her condition is very sickening. The husband felt so sad but all he did was only to look for food and attend to her wife with love and compassion. However, the husband was shocked when he found out that his wife died. He even tried to move her to check if she is still alive but he is aware that his sweetheart is dead and will not come to him again so cries with adoring love, stand beside her and scream saddened of her death. The last photograph below shows that the husband is aware that she would not return to him and that she departed him already. The male bird may not speak to say goodbye but sadness and sorrows is obviously drawn to his face as he stands beside her wife. Just like any human couple whose partner has died, would definitely have great difficulty of letting go, though the need to do this is necessary since there’s always a second chance in our life.
Another heartbreaking story was shared by my friend who preferred not to mention his name. He was totally obsessed to his girl friend as he describes his feeling. However, it was to his great dismay that amidst their stable-long time relationship, he found out that his girlfriend was arranged to marry her family friend’s son. They met clandestinely and talked about the crisis that ruined their precious relationship. The girl wants to run off with him but he refused to do it for he wants to preserve the dignity of his girlfriend. They ended their conversation peacefully as if no pain at all was felt. He took her a taxi leading to her home at the feeling of her husband. They kissed for the last time just before she got in the taxi and said “goodbye” to one another. They took the situation calmly as if nothing happened. The taxi runs while he stands still and as it fades away, he knelt down and cried terribly. He then leads his way to a bar house and got drunk believing that in this way, he could at least release the hurt that dot to his heart. In fact, I’m always booing him for his teary eyes every time we were watching TV dramas. I only understood him when he had shared to me his frustrations.
I also tried to ask an Indian friend of mine named Izhar Ahmed of when was the worse moment he had experienced goodbye in his life. He said he didn’t experience worse goodbye like parting away with girlfriend. But he felt, at least, the bitterness of goodbye when he left his family in India. Much of the truth that he can’t believe he would be leaving his family for the first time and worried if what kind of life he is going to venture abroad or would he have career to go back in India, he saw the real sadness to his mother eyes.
Elizabeth Bowen is right of saying that “Good-byes” breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say good-bye to regardless of whatever reasons it is being expressed. While it is true that it is used to express to acknowledge parting, it stills a heart-wrenching statement especially to the one we are saying it to.
However, painful as it is, we must learn to accept that nothing in this material world is constant except change itself. Leaving and being left is an inevitable circumstance.
What’s in the word “Goodbye” that many people believed to be the hardest expression to utter? Goodbye is a farewell remark to someone leaving. It is used to express an acknowledgement of parting. When someone is saying goodbye, it implies “good luck” to someone. But why goodbyes seem to cause scars in our heart and keep to tear our feeling?
It has been said that saying goodbye to someone who has been a part of our life is a worse thing one can experience in life. Parting away to someone who became part of our life engraved pains in our heart. It touches our soul especially when shared moments of both good and bad flashes back while being alone.
You may say feeling is mutual for someone leaving and to someone being left but for me, I would say someone being left feels much pain than someone leaving. I have some very interesting story that relates to what I am pointing out. First are photos of two birds which said to have pictured in the Republic of Ukraine where this bird is interested quickly to save his wife (Millions of people cry after watching this picture in America and Europe).
The wife got injured and her condition is very sickening. The husband felt so sad but all he did was only to look for food and attend to her wife with love and compassion. However, the husband was shocked when he found out that his wife died. He even tried to move her to check if she is still alive but he is aware that his sweetheart is dead and will not come to him again so cries with adoring love, stand beside her and scream saddened of her death. The last photograph below shows that the husband is aware that she would not return to him and that she departed him already. The male bird may not speak to say goodbye but sadness and sorrows is obviously drawn to his face as he stands beside her wife. Just like any human couple whose partner has died, would definitely have great difficulty of letting go, though the need to do this is necessary since there’s always a second chance in our life.
Another heartbreaking story was shared by my friend who preferred not to mention his name. He was totally obsessed to his girl friend as he describes his feeling. However, it was to his great dismay that amidst their stable-long time relationship, he found out that his girlfriend was arranged to marry her family friend’s son. They met clandestinely and talked about the crisis that ruined their precious relationship. The girl wants to run off with him but he refused to do it for he wants to preserve the dignity of his girlfriend. They ended their conversation peacefully as if no pain at all was felt. He took her a taxi leading to her home at the feeling of her husband. They kissed for the last time just before she got in the taxi and said “goodbye” to one another. They took the situation calmly as if nothing happened. The taxi runs while he stands still and as it fades away, he knelt down and cried terribly. He then leads his way to a bar house and got drunk believing that in this way, he could at least release the hurt that dot to his heart. In fact, I’m always booing him for his teary eyes every time we were watching TV dramas. I only understood him when he had shared to me his frustrations.
I also tried to ask an Indian friend of mine named Izhar Ahmed of when was the worse moment he had experienced goodbye in his life. He said he didn’t experience worse goodbye like parting away with girlfriend. But he felt, at least, the bitterness of goodbye when he left his family in India. Much of the truth that he can’t believe he would be leaving his family for the first time and worried if what kind of life he is going to venture abroad or would he have career to go back in India, he saw the real sadness to his mother eyes.
Elizabeth Bowen is right of saying that “Good-byes” breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say good-bye to regardless of whatever reasons it is being expressed. While it is true that it is used to express to acknowledge parting, it stills a heart-wrenching statement especially to the one we are saying it to.
However, painful as it is, we must learn to accept that nothing in this material world is constant except change itself. Leaving and being left is an inevitable circumstance.
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