By: Abdullah R. Sirad
“I could have thrown up my hands and said, I am quitting! But I didn't”.
That was how my friend confessed to me when one time we were talking about homesickness. It was his first time to work away from home and at his fifth month in the company, he had encountered difficulty in adjusting to his colleagues and to the work environment. Much to longing family at home is the adversity he had facing toward his colleagues specifically to his housemates. Behavioral differences annoyed him in most of the time.
Although most of the OFWs have the freewill to choose whether they will stay with the company’s provided accommodation or to rent an apartment for their privacy, most of them chose to live with the company’s accommodation for the reason that it helps them reduce cost. But sometime, when the provided accommodation is very far from the work site or the accommodation itself is very uncomfortable, OFWs gambled to rent an apartment near to the work site. The problem is, most company doesn’t reimburse for the house rent. To save from rent cost, OFWs group themselves with at least 8 members, good enough to occupy two master bedrooms with two bath tubs/toilet and a spacious kitchen. Choosing to live privately requires more patients to challenges considering that individual differences usually ignite clashes among them.
Living with colleagues in one accommodation is truly a headache. We had seen clashes of people living together at Big Brother’s House but it’s greatly different from what I am referring – the OFW Housemates. In Big Brother House, there’s a rules followed and Kuya is there to moderate any clashes among housemates. Guidance counseling is also there available to help housemates who are in behavioral distress. But to OFWs, they don’t have rules to follow (most of the group members don’t follow to agreed particular rules) and no one is there to moderate clashes or to counsel housemates facing emotional crisis.
Being merged with different people always creates problems. You cannot really expect that your housemates would respect your principles or even your privacy. Because of individual differences, conflicts are always expected to arise. Criticism or shall I say destructive criticism is a prevalent causes of misunderstanding among housemates. Like when someone from the group talks about and aggravate the shortcomings of others. Or when someone is criticized of his being inconsiderate of loudly listening to music or when someone invited his friends and chitchat overnight disturbing others from sleeping. He may not intend to hurt or disturb other people but since the issue is a bit aggravated, it then caused misapprehension. Teasing is also very common among housemates. Since there’s no other way of diverting boredoms, unlike in Philippine where you can hang up with both male and female friends after office hour, housemates would tend to tease to enlighten themselves from stress. However, teasing sometimes becomes hurtful like when it delves on a personal or private life already while other seems to seriously rides on it until fights ignited. Bullying is another inevitable cause of conflict among housemates. There are those who are dominant in nature and whose principles always want to be respected or followed. They seem to impose what they want to happen without considering others’ opinion. Such makes others’ feel being discriminated which eventually leads into resentment. Unfair anger also wrecks relationship among housemates. Others are very emotionally sensitive in which they cannot control their temper whenever an argumentation arise. An example is when others from the housemates questioned the whereabouts or breakdowns of the budget. They would confront straightforwardly of how it was spent up to the single centavo. Usually it outraged people involved and resulted to a physical hostility especially when the accused cannot argue.
How do OFW Housemates survive in their dreadful relationship?
Worst as it is, they have no choice but to live with the situation. Bearing this kind of bitter relationship is indispensable to succeed in their mission abroad. They have to focus on doing what lies behind expecting that it may lead them to the next step and eventually to find themselves of where they want to be in spite of frequent communication gaps that overshadows their relationships.
This is because they cannot dictate one another to observe consideration and to listen with others grievances. They have to live practically, accepting the fact that the “strongest survives”. Otherwise, they have to voluntarily evict themselves from the house.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I or WE?
By: Abdullah Ramos Sirad
When it comes to sharing of experiences, I truly pay attention to the one I am sharing with and take inculcation of every details being disclosed. Most of the time, I used to listen than to compete in bragging of disclosing experiences unless I am asked to elaborate on my experiences to the topic we’re discussing. I am a sort of a secretive person in which I hate delving on too personal experiences especially when such experience involved sensitive issue to other people.
One time, I was with a friend named Ali Ramos Pacasum and we were sharing experiences about work. I was a bit intrigued when he asked me of the difference between “I” and “we”. I thought he was only kidding so I differentiated the two pronouns based on what I learned in my English subject way back in school. He guffawed loudly and he said he is serious of his enquiry. Come to think about it in the work place, he told me. I had worked with Filipinos, Pakistanis, Indians, Moroccan, Lebanese in which this “I” and “we” pronouns are very annoying, he added. I guess you are insinuating something deeper about it, I replied. He nodded his head and then starts expounding on his statement.
I been working for more than 10 years in KSA as safety officer, he said. I had worked with different nationalities in different companies and one of the common experiences I had encountered is the distinction between “I” and “We” in the work field. I had several misunderstanding with my colleagues because as a team we were working altogether but our output is being claimed by one person, he further said. There’s came a point that I used to confront our superior when one time, at our presence, he bragged to the Project Manager by saying “you know Sir, I did all of these and those…and because I … so and so…”. The way he swanked strikes my ears because I know that he was a bit implying of discrediting our concerted effort in which he seems to say that if without him, our department cannot come up to that level of achievement, he added.
Hearing his history, I told him it’s really a common behavior in all work settings. Employees of unstable status feared of being kicked out and as defense, they have to look for a mechanism that would at least help them to be recognized. Obviously, these “I centered” employees would rather tend to be selfish knowing that in this way they would earn trust from their superior than being realistic and yet with fear of losing a work at any time. For them, the more important are the day-to-day opportunities in the course of relationship between them and the superior. Thus it is very difficult for them to say “we” when reporting achievements to the superior. At the expense of others, they are trying to take the merit themselves for their personal recognition even if it means hurting or jeopardizing colleagues.
And how do they live from being “I” centered? Saying "I did them” when in reality it was "done by someone else” and saying "they did it when mistakes were committed." By claiming only what is beneficial and not accepting failure is actually compromising the truth and as consequence, it cause suffering in the work relationship. Such behavior may not intentionally to destruct their colleagues or they may only be thinking of keeping their work or position. But whatever it is that they are intending of, it is still “I centeredness” or selfishness that is ruling them.
When it comes to sharing of experiences, I truly pay attention to the one I am sharing with and take inculcation of every details being disclosed. Most of the time, I used to listen than to compete in bragging of disclosing experiences unless I am asked to elaborate on my experiences to the topic we’re discussing. I am a sort of a secretive person in which I hate delving on too personal experiences especially when such experience involved sensitive issue to other people.
One time, I was with a friend named Ali Ramos Pacasum and we were sharing experiences about work. I was a bit intrigued when he asked me of the difference between “I” and “we”. I thought he was only kidding so I differentiated the two pronouns based on what I learned in my English subject way back in school. He guffawed loudly and he said he is serious of his enquiry. Come to think about it in the work place, he told me. I had worked with Filipinos, Pakistanis, Indians, Moroccan, Lebanese in which this “I” and “we” pronouns are very annoying, he added. I guess you are insinuating something deeper about it, I replied. He nodded his head and then starts expounding on his statement.
I been working for more than 10 years in KSA as safety officer, he said. I had worked with different nationalities in different companies and one of the common experiences I had encountered is the distinction between “I” and “We” in the work field. I had several misunderstanding with my colleagues because as a team we were working altogether but our output is being claimed by one person, he further said. There’s came a point that I used to confront our superior when one time, at our presence, he bragged to the Project Manager by saying “you know Sir, I did all of these and those…and because I … so and so…”. The way he swanked strikes my ears because I know that he was a bit implying of discrediting our concerted effort in which he seems to say that if without him, our department cannot come up to that level of achievement, he added.
Hearing his history, I told him it’s really a common behavior in all work settings. Employees of unstable status feared of being kicked out and as defense, they have to look for a mechanism that would at least help them to be recognized. Obviously, these “I centered” employees would rather tend to be selfish knowing that in this way they would earn trust from their superior than being realistic and yet with fear of losing a work at any time. For them, the more important are the day-to-day opportunities in the course of relationship between them and the superior. Thus it is very difficult for them to say “we” when reporting achievements to the superior. At the expense of others, they are trying to take the merit themselves for their personal recognition even if it means hurting or jeopardizing colleagues.
And how do they live from being “I” centered? Saying "I did them” when in reality it was "done by someone else” and saying "they did it when mistakes were committed." By claiming only what is beneficial and not accepting failure is actually compromising the truth and as consequence, it cause suffering in the work relationship. Such behavior may not intentionally to destruct their colleagues or they may only be thinking of keeping their work or position. But whatever it is that they are intending of, it is still “I centeredness” or selfishness that is ruling them.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
...THEY REJOICED OF HURTING OUR FEELING!
By: Abdullah R. Sirad
If I have to make a Pig or a fucking monster caricature of Jesus or to some of his Apostles, would Christian worlds applaud me of this masterpiece? If I have to insist that I did it as an Art expression, would I be appreciated? If I keep insisting that it’s my right of “freedom of speech”, would I be excused? Ok, let’s take it this way. If I did it as revenge to some bad Christians, would the good ones ignore it? Definitely their answer would be “You are a Terrorist!”
I am not generalizing Christians because I believe that not all of them hate Muslims. In fact, I grew up in a Christian community in which most of my friends are Christians. I am only addressing the situation with regard to "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" movement over a page in Facebook and to other sites like www.mohammadture.com in which members of growing numbers are posting blasphemous depictions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
It is very heartrending of seeing various unpleasant depictions and of reading malevolent descriptions against Muslims in general. The first time I received an emailing protest against the show “South Park 201” who had first depicted the Prophet (PBUH) to one of their comedy segments and to the well known social network Facebook which allows page to mock the Prophet (PBUH), I thought it was all about green marketing. Out of curiosity, I tried to search on the net and was offensively surprised of what I had seen and read. Yes, Christians of mostly westerners mockingly depicted the Prophet in different forms. I wasn’t able to manage myself and shouted “Lanatullah!” (God Curse them!).
I cannot imagine why nonmuslim westerners afford to post those depictions when they do not have proof that the Prophet is of something to any of those caricatures. Though Molly Norris, the perpetrator of the first facebook page that calls for every Cartoon enthusiast to post their extreme repulsive depictions of the Prophet (PBUH) claimed that it was all about “rights” and not meant to disrespect Islam, the caricatures and text messages posted in several sites clearly expressed disrespect and discrimination among Muslims.
It is very enraging that when Muslims are put in a blasphemy, authority doesn’t spare some time to act on it. They keep their people to rejoice of hurting Muslims feeling. However, when revenge is acted by few Muslims, all Muslims are blamed and tagged as the bad of all people. Where is the universal justice as they are calling? Is it accorded to nonmuslims only?
A Muslim fellow named Saad Mustafa Warraich of Karachi – Pakistan created Adolf Hitler page over Facebook as counter action to Everybody Draw Muhammad page in the same social network but both his Facebook account and the page he had created were deactivated by the facebook management justifying that his page had actually violated the Facebook Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. Facebook reply to Mr. Saad is read as this:
We do not tolerate hate speech. Targeting people based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, or disease is a serious violation of our standards and has resulted in the permanent loss of your account. We will not be able to reactivate your account for any reason. This decision is final.
Now see how the facebook management replied to the request of Muslim community toward deactivation of "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" page in their network:
“We strongly believe that Facebook users have the freedom to express their opinions, and we don’t typically take down content, groups or pages that speak out against countries, religions, political entities, or ideas.”
Contradiction of the statements given by the Facebook management is a clear proof that Muslims are subject to their so called standard while nonmuslims are not covered by it though how blasphemous they would write or draw about Muslims.
It’s a total unfair treatment and personally, I am condemning it to the highest degree. If they couldn’t walk the teaching of their idol god, then they have to be at least professional of dealing things. The way they had depicted and described the Prophet (PBUH) is actually an exact definition of (nonmuslim westerners) their own identity.
I wrote this article out of my religious obligations that as Muslim, I would be asked during the judgment day of what I have done when the Prophet (PBUH) was being mocked. At least, I did my little part through this article. To all Muslims out there, let’s unite in prayer that ALLAH (SWT) will enlighten nonbelievers’ mind and heart; that they would realize that they were wronged of their depictions toward the Prophet (PBUH).
If I have to make a Pig or a fucking monster caricature of Jesus or to some of his Apostles, would Christian worlds applaud me of this masterpiece? If I have to insist that I did it as an Art expression, would I be appreciated? If I keep insisting that it’s my right of “freedom of speech”, would I be excused? Ok, let’s take it this way. If I did it as revenge to some bad Christians, would the good ones ignore it? Definitely their answer would be “You are a Terrorist!”
I am not generalizing Christians because I believe that not all of them hate Muslims. In fact, I grew up in a Christian community in which most of my friends are Christians. I am only addressing the situation with regard to "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" movement over a page in Facebook and to other sites like www.mohammadture.com in which members of growing numbers are posting blasphemous depictions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
It is very heartrending of seeing various unpleasant depictions and of reading malevolent descriptions against Muslims in general. The first time I received an emailing protest against the show “South Park 201” who had first depicted the Prophet (PBUH) to one of their comedy segments and to the well known social network Facebook which allows page to mock the Prophet (PBUH), I thought it was all about green marketing. Out of curiosity, I tried to search on the net and was offensively surprised of what I had seen and read. Yes, Christians of mostly westerners mockingly depicted the Prophet in different forms. I wasn’t able to manage myself and shouted “Lanatullah!” (God Curse them!).
I cannot imagine why nonmuslim westerners afford to post those depictions when they do not have proof that the Prophet is of something to any of those caricatures. Though Molly Norris, the perpetrator of the first facebook page that calls for every Cartoon enthusiast to post their extreme repulsive depictions of the Prophet (PBUH) claimed that it was all about “rights” and not meant to disrespect Islam, the caricatures and text messages posted in several sites clearly expressed disrespect and discrimination among Muslims.
It is very enraging that when Muslims are put in a blasphemy, authority doesn’t spare some time to act on it. They keep their people to rejoice of hurting Muslims feeling. However, when revenge is acted by few Muslims, all Muslims are blamed and tagged as the bad of all people. Where is the universal justice as they are calling? Is it accorded to nonmuslims only?
A Muslim fellow named Saad Mustafa Warraich of Karachi – Pakistan created Adolf Hitler page over Facebook as counter action to Everybody Draw Muhammad page in the same social network but both his Facebook account and the page he had created were deactivated by the facebook management justifying that his page had actually violated the Facebook Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. Facebook reply to Mr. Saad is read as this:
We do not tolerate hate speech. Targeting people based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, or disease is a serious violation of our standards and has resulted in the permanent loss of your account. We will not be able to reactivate your account for any reason. This decision is final.
Now see how the facebook management replied to the request of Muslim community toward deactivation of "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" page in their network:
“We strongly believe that Facebook users have the freedom to express their opinions, and we don’t typically take down content, groups or pages that speak out against countries, religions, political entities, or ideas.”
Contradiction of the statements given by the Facebook management is a clear proof that Muslims are subject to their so called standard while nonmuslims are not covered by it though how blasphemous they would write or draw about Muslims.
It’s a total unfair treatment and personally, I am condemning it to the highest degree. If they couldn’t walk the teaching of their idol god, then they have to be at least professional of dealing things. The way they had depicted and described the Prophet (PBUH) is actually an exact definition of (nonmuslim westerners) their own identity.
I wrote this article out of my religious obligations that as Muslim, I would be asked during the judgment day of what I have done when the Prophet (PBUH) was being mocked. At least, I did my little part through this article. To all Muslims out there, let’s unite in prayer that ALLAH (SWT) will enlighten nonbelievers’ mind and heart; that they would realize that they were wronged of their depictions toward the Prophet (PBUH).
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