A Beautiful story about QURAN

Why do we read Quran, even if we can't understand a single Arabic word????

This is a beautiful story.

لماذا نقرأ القران, حتى لو لم نكن نفهم مفرداته العربية جيدا

An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table
reading his Quran. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

عجوز امركي مسلم يعيش في مزرعة في جبال شرق كنتاكي مع حفيده الصغير

في كل صباح الجد يستيقظ باكرا ويجلس على طاولة المطبخ ويقرأ القران.

حفيده الصغير كان يريد ان يصبح مثل جده لهذا كان يحاول تقليدة بكل طريقة ممكنة

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Quran just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur'an do?"

في أحد الايام سأل الحفيد جده قائلا (جدي! انا احاول ان اقرأ القران مثلك لكنني لم افهم كلماته,والذي افهمه انساه وسرعان ما اغلق الكتاب.ما هي الفائده المرجاة من قراءة القران.

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.

الجد بهدوء وضع الفحم في المدفئة واجاب (خذ سلة الفحم الى النهر وأملئها بالماء)

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.

قام الولد بعمل ما طلبه منه جده,لكن كل الماء تسرب من السلة قبل ان يصل عائدا الى المنزل.ضحك الجد وقال(يجب عليك ان تكون اسرع في المرة القادمة)ثم بعثه مرة اخرى الى النهر مع السلة ليحاول مرة اخرى.في هذه المرة ركض الولد بشكل اسرع,ولكن مرة اخرى السلة فرغت قبل وصوله المنزل.كان يتنفس لاهثا.واخبر جده انه من المستحيل ان احمل الماء بهذه السلة,وذهب ليحضر دلواً بدلا من السلة.

The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just again not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try in.

الرجل العجوز قال (انا لا اريد دلوا من الماء,بل اريد سلة من الماء.انت فقط لم تحاول بجهد كاف) ثم خرج ليشاهد الولد يحاول مرة اخرى

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!"

"So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket."

في هذه الاثناء.ادرك الولد انها مهمة مستحيلة,لكنه اراد ان يثبت لجده انه حتى لو ركض بأسرع ما يستطيع ,الماء سوف يتسرب قبل ان يصل عائدا الى المنزل .فقام الولد رمى بالسلة في النهر وركض بسرعة وبجهد.ولكنه عندما وصل الى البيت وجد ان السلة فارغة مرة ثالثة.

فقال وهو يلهث, انظر جدي ........انها غير مجدية

اذن انت تظن انها غير مجدية.؟ أجاب الجد

انظر الى السلة

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.

نظر الولد الى السلة وللمرة الاولى ادرك ان السلة مختلفة.كانت سلة متسخة تنقل الفحم القديم والان اصبحت نظيفة من الداخل والخارج.

Son, that's what happens when you read the Qur'an . You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out when you read time by time . That is the work of Allah in our lives...."

بني أجابه الجد : هذا ما يحصل عندما تقرأ القران.من الممكن أن لا تفهم شيئا او تتذكر اي شيء ولكن عندما تقرأه مره بعد مره بعد مره .سوف تتغير داخليا وخارجيا.هذا عمل الله في حياتنا .

If you feel this email is worth reading, please forward to your contacts/friends. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh & his family) says: *"The one who guides to good will be rewarded equally"

اذا كنت ترى ان هذه الرسالة تستحق القراءة,ارسلها مرة اخرى لجميع اصدقائك.

قال الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم "من دعى الى هدى فله اجره واجر من عمل به الى يوم القيامة لا تنقص من اجورهم شيئا"
--
{وَلْتَكُن مِّنكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَأُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ }آل عمران104

{رَبَّنَا لاَ تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّكَ أَنتَ الْوَهَّابُ }آل عمران8

RAMADAN - CHARACTER BUILDING

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


“Its general cleaning because Ramadan is coming!” Pinky shared at her Facebook’s wall. Pinky believed that our intention of keeping surrounding clean in welcoming the Holy month of Ramadan also cleanses our souls from sins as simple reward from the Almighty. Somehow, Pinky’s statement reflected Maranaos tradition of welcoming the Holy month. Among Maranaos, Ramadan is very significant for it unites family and relatives, it opens the once closed relationship due to misunderstanding and disputes the fact that Ramadan commands forgiveness, and above all it is the best month in which Allah bestowed His mercy to all fasting Muslims, hear those who sincerely repent and saved every fasting Muslim from the hell fire.

What is then a Ramadan means? The month of Ramadan is that in which the Quran was revealed, a guidance to men and clear proofs of the guidance and the distinction”- Holy Qur’an 2:185

It is the month in which every able Muslim is compulsorily obliged to practice fasting – an abstinence from eating, drinking, and sexual activity from dawn until dusk. The Holy Quran states: “O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, so that you may develop Taqwa (self-restraint)” [2:183]

I am not well learned of the religious explanation of the benefits one can earn from fasting in the Holy Month of Ramadan but by reading some related literatures I found out that fasting in the month of Ramadan is an opportunity for self-character building.

The fact that we are refraining from what we usually do during day times because of Love and Fear to God motivates us of virtuous conduct and train us to keep away from evil actions. It leads us to be God-fearing person for we would be spending most of our times remembering the greatness of God through submissiveness and obedience. By considering the significance of worship, we gradually recalling and evaluating the extent of deeds or services we had offered to Him as well as to our fellow creations. This inculcates us of our accountability to the would-be life in the hereafter.

Through the hardship we would be experiencing during fasting like thirst and hunger and of sacrificing in avoiding from accessing to our usual habits like Facebook activity, we are developing the spirit of Patience within us. It help develop contentment of what we have for we would be putting our trust to God’s will instead of feeling despair, hopelessness, sobbing and complaining.

The effort of voluntarily depriving ourselves from worldly pleasure, desire, and enjoyment when we are fasting means training ourselves of Self-control and self-discipline. I would admit it’s not easy to control our temper or to reconcile with someone else but because Ramadan requires it for our fasting to be credited, we have to practice it. Likewise, leveling our life standard with less fortunate people such as refraining from our pleasure of seeking expensive and delicious foods or simply avoiding from watching shows on TV as it is forbidden during fasting is a means of inclining and boasting our self-discipline.

Keeping our body in a state of ablution and refraining ourselves from unpleasant or unnecessary talks like backbiting, criticism, teasing, and bullying keeps our souls purified. Turning our usual habits into a habit of daily Zikr – remembrance of God’s greatness leads us to purity in which, if maintained, would guide us to take our walks of life away from the influence of Satan, the devil.

Fasting also develops social responsibility. It is in which fasting individual feels what the poor and hungry people are experiencing thus it allows us to understand the need to care and be concern to them, being a less privileged people in the society. Charity and donations, refraining from wasting of foods and drinks are added lessons that we would learn from fasting.

Above all, by fasting a person keeps away himself from the pleasures of life, with no preventive or hindering factor, except that of obeying God and showing genuine devotion to His commands. This teaches us to become 'Conscious of God' in our daily living.

Tomorrow, 11th of August shall mark our first day of fasting in this Holy month of Ramadan. I am wishing, especially to myself, that these characters brought about by Ramadan will be maintained and be actualized not only for this holy month but throughout our life on earth.

Ramadan Kareem to all Muslims in the world. Mabuhay!

FIRST STEP

By: Abdullah R. Sirad

Taking the first step is perhaps one of the hardest actions that we may be doing be it a business transactions or personal relationships. In several cases, one would tend to wait for the other to make the first move. Different motivations may lies behind like fear of failure in meeting investors to a new business or being disregarded, unrequited, blamed, and or insulted in reconciling relationship with someone else. Pride and ego could be the roots of these which suppress someone to make the first move especially in terms of reconciliation.

Saying “hello, I’ll be willing to meet you over café for our business proposal” or “sorry, I guess I did a mistake” is a statement one would hesitate to pronounce. In business it might not be that difficult to do for as long as you are ready to accept whatever your discussions may lead but for personal relationship, it matters a lot because people involved are afraid of what people would think of them.

In a friendship for example. When misunderstanding wrecked their relationship, none of them would be willing to make the first move to reconcile. Both of them would wait who will do the first hint for settlement but the worse is, the gap between them gets harsh as it takes more time especially when chitchats from other people amplified the issues. Such situation leads into complexity thereby making it very difficult for the people involved to respond positively in resolving the misunderstanding between them.

I have common friends who had fought due to misunderstanding. They were discussing on the whereabouts of their monetary contribution but due to severe argumentation they were not able to control their temper until they spanked one another. Though their long time friendship allowed themselves to stay together in one house, both of them were hesitant to make the first step of saying sorry. They exist as if they don’t see one another. When they were asked separately, they reasoned that if they make the first move it would mean that they were the one at fault thus don’t want to be ostracized by other friends. It was a simple problem. But fear of being blamed drives both of them not to make the first step in their reconciliation.

Another friend confessed that he had made a foolish courtship. He had let someone else to be “addicted to his bitter coffee” but when bedlam surprised his way out, he couldn’t be verbose as he is of admitting the real score. He believed that the best step he could do to patch out things is by being quiet for some days but he was mistaken for it caused anguish and worries to his special one. His great mistake was of not accepting the real scenario behind as the very first step and then explains later. Fear of making the first move to break the ice had somehow stained his personality.

Taking the first step of patching up problems is very important in a relationship. It prevents relationship from totally getting smashed up. It really does not matter whether you are at fault or not, who might not approve or who might criticize, and of what might it leads – failure or success for as long as you did the first step because at the end, it would sets you free from guilt.

Just as “Brian Tracy” quoted it as “The act of taking the first step is what separates the winners from the losers”.

OFW HOUSEMATES

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


“I could have thrown up my hands and said, I am quitting! But I didn't”.

That was how my friend confessed to me when one time we were talking about homesickness. It was his first time to work away from home and at his fifth month in the company, he had encountered difficulty in adjusting to his colleagues and to the work environment. Much to longing family at home is the adversity he had facing toward his colleagues specifically to his housemates. Behavioral differences annoyed him in most of the time.

Although most of the OFWs have the freewill to choose whether they will stay with the company’s provided accommodation or to rent an apartment for their privacy, most of them chose to live with the company’s accommodation for the reason that it helps them reduce cost. But sometime, when the provided accommodation is very far from the work site or the accommodation itself is very uncomfortable, OFWs gambled to rent an apartment near to the work site. The problem is, most company doesn’t reimburse for the house rent. To save from rent cost, OFWs group themselves with at least 8 members, good enough to occupy two master bedrooms with two bath tubs/toilet and a spacious kitchen. Choosing to live privately requires more patients to challenges considering that individual differences usually ignite clashes among them.

Living with colleagues in one accommodation is truly a headache. We had seen clashes of people living together at Big Brother’s House but it’s greatly different from what I am referring – the OFW Housemates. In Big Brother House, there’s a rules followed and Kuya is there to moderate any clashes among housemates. Guidance counseling is also there available to help housemates who are in behavioral distress. But to OFWs, they don’t have rules to follow (most of the group members don’t follow to agreed particular rules) and no one is there to moderate clashes or to counsel housemates facing emotional crisis.

Being merged with different people always creates problems. You cannot really expect that your housemates would respect your principles or even your privacy. Because of individual differences, conflicts are always expected to arise. Criticism or shall I say destructive criticism is a prevalent causes of misunderstanding among housemates. Like when someone from the group talks about and aggravate the shortcomings of others. Or when someone is criticized of his being inconsiderate of loudly listening to music or when someone invited his friends and chitchat overnight disturbing others from sleeping. He may not intend to hurt or disturb other people but since the issue is a bit aggravated, it then caused misapprehension. Teasing is also very common among housemates. Since there’s no other way of diverting boredoms, unlike in Philippine where you can hang up with both male and female friends after office hour, housemates would tend to tease to enlighten themselves from stress. However, teasing sometimes becomes hurtful like when it delves on a personal or private life already while other seems to seriously rides on it until fights ignited. Bullying is another inevitable cause of conflict among housemates. There are those who are dominant in nature and whose principles always want to be respected or followed. They seem to impose what they want to happen without considering others’ opinion. Such makes others’ feel being discriminated which eventually leads into resentment. Unfair anger also wrecks relationship among housemates. Others are very emotionally sensitive in which they cannot control their temper whenever an argumentation arise. An example is when others from the housemates questioned the whereabouts or breakdowns of the budget. They would confront straightforwardly of how it was spent up to the single centavo. Usually it outraged people involved and resulted to a physical hostility especially when the accused cannot argue.

How do OFW Housemates survive in their dreadful relationship?

Worst as it is, they have no choice but to live with the situation. Bearing this kind of bitter relationship is indispensable to succeed in their mission abroad. They have to focus on doing what lies behind expecting that it may lead them to the next step and eventually to find themselves of where they want to be in spite of frequent communication gaps that overshadows their relationships.

This is because they cannot dictate one another to observe consideration and to listen with others grievances. They have to live practically, accepting the fact that the “strongest survives”. Otherwise, they have to voluntarily evict themselves from the house.

I or WE?

By: Abdullah Ramos Sirad

When it comes to sharing of experiences, I truly pay attention to the one I am sharing with and take inculcation of every details being disclosed. Most of the time, I used to listen than to compete in bragging of disclosing experiences unless I am asked to elaborate on my experiences to the topic we’re discussing. I am a sort of a secretive person in which I hate delving on too personal experiences especially when such experience involved sensitive issue to other people.

One time, I was with a friend named Ali Ramos Pacasum and we were sharing experiences about work. I was a bit intrigued when he asked me of the difference between “I” and “we”. I thought he was only kidding so I differentiated the two pronouns based on what I learned in my English subject way back in school. He guffawed loudly and he said he is serious of his enquiry. Come to think about it in the work place, he told me. I had worked with Filipinos, Pakistanis, Indians, Moroccan, Lebanese in which this “I” and “we” pronouns are very annoying, he added. I guess you are insinuating something deeper about it, I replied. He nodded his head and then starts expounding on his statement.

I been working for more than 10 years in KSA as safety officer, he said. I had worked with different nationalities in different companies and one of the common experiences I had encountered is the distinction between “I” and “We” in the work field. I had several misunderstanding with my colleagues because as a team we were working altogether but our output is being claimed by one person, he further said. There’s came a point that I used to confront our superior when one time, at our presence, he bragged to the Project Manager by saying “you know Sir, I did all of these and those…and because I … so and so…”. The way he swanked strikes my ears because I know that he was a bit implying of discrediting our concerted effort in which he seems to say that if without him, our department cannot come up to that level of achievement, he added.

Hearing his history, I told him it’s really a common behavior in all work settings. Employees of unstable status feared of being kicked out and as defense, they have to look for a mechanism that would at least help them to be recognized. Obviously, these “I centered” employees would rather tend to be selfish knowing that in this way they would earn trust from their superior than being realistic and yet with fear of losing a work at any time. For them, the more important are the day-to-day opportunities in the course of relationship between them and the superior. Thus it is very difficult for them to say “we” when reporting achievements to the superior. At the expense of others, they are trying to take the merit themselves for their personal recognition even if it means hurting or jeopardizing colleagues.

And how do they live from being “I” centered? Saying "I did them” when in reality it was "done by someone else” and saying "they did it when mistakes were committed." By claiming only what is beneficial and not accepting failure is actually compromising the truth and as consequence, it cause suffering in the work relationship. Such behavior may not intentionally to destruct their colleagues or they may only be thinking of keeping their work or position. But whatever it is that they are intending of, it is still “I centeredness” or selfishness that is ruling them.

...THEY REJOICED OF HURTING OUR FEELING!

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


If I have to make a Pig or a fucking monster caricature of Jesus or to some of his Apostles, would Christian worlds applaud me of this masterpiece? If I have to insist that I did it as an Art expression, would I be appreciated? If I keep insisting that it’s my right of “freedom of speech”, would I be excused? Ok, let’s take it this way. If I did it as revenge to some bad Christians, would the good ones ignore it? Definitely their answer would be “You are a Terrorist!”

I am not generalizing Christians because I believe that not all of them hate Muslims. In fact, I grew up in a Christian community in which most of my friends are Christians. I am only addressing the situation with regard to "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" movement over a page in Facebook and to other sites like www.mohammadture.com in which members of growing numbers are posting blasphemous depictions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

It is very heartrending of seeing various unpleasant depictions and of reading malevolent descriptions against Muslims in general. The first time I received an emailing protest against the show “South Park 201” who had first depicted the Prophet (PBUH) to one of their comedy segments and to the well known social network Facebook which allows page to mock the Prophet (PBUH), I thought it was all about green marketing. Out of curiosity, I tried to search on the net and was offensively surprised of what I had seen and read. Yes, Christians of mostly westerners mockingly depicted the Prophet in different forms. I wasn’t able to manage myself and shouted “Lanatullah!” (God Curse them!).

I cannot imagine why nonmuslim westerners afford to post those depictions when they do not have proof that the Prophet is of something to any of those caricatures. Though Molly Norris, the perpetrator of the first facebook page that calls for every Cartoon enthusiast to post their extreme repulsive depictions of the Prophet (PBUH) claimed that it was all about “rights” and not meant to disrespect Islam, the caricatures and text messages posted in several sites clearly expressed disrespect and discrimination among Muslims.

It is very enraging that when Muslims are put in a blasphemy, authority doesn’t spare some time to act on it. They keep their people to rejoice of hurting Muslims feeling. However, when revenge is acted by few Muslims, all Muslims are blamed and tagged as the bad of all people. Where is the universal justice as they are calling? Is it accorded to nonmuslims only?

A Muslim fellow named Saad Mustafa Warraich of Karachi – Pakistan created Adolf Hitler page over Facebook as counter action to Everybody Draw Muhammad page in the same social network but both his Facebook account and the page he had created were deactivated by the facebook management justifying that his page had actually violated the Facebook Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. Facebook reply to Mr. Saad is read as this:

We do not tolerate hate speech. Targeting people based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, or disease is a serious violation of our standards and has resulted in the permanent loss of your account. We will not be able to reactivate your account for any reason. This decision is final.

Now see how the facebook management replied to the request of Muslim community toward deactivation of "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" page in their network:

“We strongly believe that Facebook users have the freedom to express their opinions, and we don’t typically take down content, groups or pages that speak out against countries, religions, political entities, or ideas.”

Contradiction of the statements given by the Facebook management is a clear proof that Muslims are subject to their so called standard while nonmuslims are not covered by it though how blasphemous they would write or draw about Muslims.
It’s a total unfair treatment and personally, I am condemning it to the highest degree. If they couldn’t walk the teaching of their idol god, then they have to be at least professional of dealing things. The way they had depicted and described the Prophet (PBUH) is actually an exact definition of (nonmuslim westerners) their own identity.

I wrote this article out of my religious obligations that as Muslim, I would be asked during the judgment day of what I have done when the Prophet (PBUH) was being mocked. At least, I did my little part through this article. To all Muslims out there, let’s unite in prayer that ALLAH (SWT) will enlighten nonbelievers’ mind and heart; that they would realize that they were wronged of their depictions toward the Prophet (PBUH).

VILIFICATION IN ELECTION

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


Do you ever hear these statements from candidates at the national television towards their rivals in the politics?

"Don’t vote for mentally ill candidate…!"

"Don’t be fool by babaeros…!"

"Don’t vote for anomalous candidate… (road scandal and land conversion)!"

These are just few of the different types of mudslinging among competing candidates that created more conflict and caused tension among followers and supporters. Such mocking rebuttal rapidly spread throughout the campaign period and distract many from selecting who among the candidates has credibility.

Vilification and not verification deftly describe this current trend of campaigning. Every party keeps on looking blot against rivals whether such taken information is authentic or fabricated. When a single flaw is seen, heard or observed from some members in a certain party, rival would instantly exaggerate it over media to denigrate other and gain fame out of it regardless of its authenticity. Supposedly it’s not fair to generalize a certain party just because of the flaws and lapse in management of some individual within it. Every party, as I believe, holds on to their reputation and morale for their better direction to serve the people at their best. No one is perfect as we know it. Mistake is inevitable but it doesn’t mean that the fault of some will reflect the image of the party as a whole. But this is the trend in our political arena. Fault of one is fault of all. The more you refute other, the famous you would become. The better you fabricate information, the more intellectual you would be called.

Why demeaning one another served as usual practice among competing candidates to advance from the others? Do they understand that the whole world is observing them? Is this the image they want to project and be called of? Honestly, I was embarrassed when one time I was bragging to my Indian officemate that we Filipinos (in the office) does not backbite and drag down one another just for one’s own interest. He just looked at me with a smile and replied “are you watching TFC or reading news paper about your country?” your leaders are throwing mud to one another!. Though I was able to justify such scenario, I was deeply shame and told myself that this is really how the image of the country was brought for. Candidates are too verbose of refuting one another but in action, they did not prove anything but to aggravate the ridiculous status of the country.

In just few days from now, we are going to vote for leaders whom we believe can help the country to recover (if not advance) morally, spiritually and economically. But how ready we are for this very important decision we are going to undertake once again? How sure we are that mudslinging, vote-buying, and hello Garci tactics will not impair our hope to elect leaders whom we consider credible and trustful? Or are there credible and trustful leader among the candidates? Can we trust this first ever automated election in the country?

I am not sure of anything from now. The PCOS trial poll didn’t give the exact result of the votes which connote that cheating is still possible. Revealing stinks from each candidate worsen as May 10 is getting closer. It’s truly difficult to trust anyone at this time. The very frustrating result of the 2004 national election still reminded everybody that people in “super power” can possibly twist the result of this (2010) election and the same leaders as of present will continue to lead the country. In my case, I am still doubtful of whom am I going to give my vote. I had once casted my vote to the late Senator Raul Roco and to all his party members in 2004 election because I believed that of all his rivals, he and his members have the credibility and capability to lead the country. But like many, I was dismayed that GMA’s magic worked in distorting the real result of the election. This is what I am worrying for. My history teacher had once told us that history repeats itself. Will such history repeats at this year’s election? May God have mercy on us!

PATH TO (HAPPINESS) PARADISE

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


We must admit that it takes time to recuperate from frustrations. Most of us usually submerged to the bedlam of our own challenges in life. Sometime, we are being unfair to our selves the way we deal with our problems. Perhaps, when we are in a severe pain we presume that we’re a loser and would be a loser no matter how we tried thus we can’t comprehend the reasons why such event happened to us though we feel all the pains it caused. I guess that’s the consequence when we failed to see the other side of the coin. We forget to consider that there are some odd events in our life which can help us grow and there are some good events which brings us to bad luck instead. When we are at pain, all we have in mind are those aches until we tend not to trust people, loss our self esteem, become hopeless and probably revengeful.

I know that convalescing from chaos does not happen overnight. We need time to patch it up. We need attentions and probably counseling from those people who loves us unconditionally like our parents, siblings, and friends. Most of all, we need to understand our relationship with GOD.

I had received a very interesting story (which I want to share to all my friends as well) about an old woman who was about to commit suicide due to severe heart ache after her husband died and a little boy who at his young age is committed to his ultimate purpose on earth of conveying God’s message. The story was shared to me through email but unfortunately the author’s name was not written in it. Read the short story and learn the message it brings.
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Every Friday afternoon, after the Juma’a prayers, the Imam and his eleven years old son would go out into their town and hand out “Path to Paradise” and other Islamic literature.

This particular and fortunate Friday afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his Son to go out to the streets with their booklets, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain. The boy bundle up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, “Ok, Dad, I’m ready!”

His Dad asked, ‘ready for what? It’s time we go out and distribute these Islamic books, the Son replied. Dad responds, ‘Son, it’s very cold outside and it’s pouring rain.’

The boy gives his Dad a surprised look, asking, ‘But Dad, aren’t people still going to hell, even though it’s raining?’ Dad answers, ‘Son, I am not going out in this weather.’

Despondently, the boy asks, ‘Dad, can I go please?’ His father hesitated for the moment then said, ‘Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.’ Thanks Dad!’

And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet.

After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST BOOKLET. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted.

Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered… He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.

Finally, he turned the leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch! He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.

Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, ‘What can I do for you, son?’ with radiant eyes and a smile that lit up his world, this little boy said, ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure.’

With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. ‘Thank you, son! And God bless you!.

Next week on Friday afternoon after Juma’a prayers, the Imam was giving some lectures. As he conclude the lectures, he asked, ‘Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?’ Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly lady’s voice was heard over the speaker.

‘No one in this gathering knows me. I’ve never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim, and thought I could be. My husband died last few years ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, I was contemplating suicide as I had no hope left.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was about to leaf off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I’ll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away.

I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly…

I thought to myself again, ‘Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me. ‘I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, ‘Ma’am, I just came to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES YOU AND CARES FOR YOU!’

Then he gave me this booklet, Path to Paradise that I now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this book. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn’t need them anymore.

You see? I am now a Happy Vicegerent of the One True God. Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the back of this booklet, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God’s little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.’

There was not a dry eye in the Mosque. The shouts of Takbir ‘ALLAHO AKBAR’ rented the air. Imam-Dad descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated… He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no Jama’at has had a more glorious moment, and probably this Universe has never seen a father that was more filled with love and honor for his son… except for One. This very one…

Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.

Don’t let this message die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people! Remember, God’s message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you.



Q 5:3: This day I’ve perfected your religion for you, and completed my favor on you, and chose Islam for you as your religion.

EXPERIENCES ARE LIFE’s CONSTANT TEST

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


I had read a quotable quote of Anthony Robbins from Patric Chan’s Your Ultimate Inspirational Guide book which says: “It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean”.

I then pondered deeply on the message of the quote and tried to evaluate myself against those events or experiences I had undergone. I realized that in some way, I was able to grasp the meaning of those events because I wasn’t able to be carried away by my previous dark experiences in life. We may believe that experience is our best teacher. But it won’t help us grow unless we come to realize and interpret the meaning of those events and take them as inspiration in struggling to reach our quest in life.

I remember when I was a freshman college student when at the middle of the second semester; my mother pulled me out in the University and told me that I cannot go back to school anymore due to feudal (Redo as we termed it) problem that our family had once involved. I felt as if that was a total havoc on my future the fact that I thought I would be like my childhood relatives who grown up with revenge motivation on their mind. It was after a year that my mother thought it’s already safe for me to go away from home and continue my study but I was a bit frustrated already. I know I couldn’t be qualified anymore to our University’s academic and extracurricular scholarship grants and that I’m a year behind to my batch. I was blaming it all to the feud tragedy that stricken our family.

With my mother and some friends’ counseling, I was able to realize that such tragedy was allowed by ALLAH (God) to touch our lives because He wants something for us. Through such tumultuous event that I was able to be strong enough to face the challenges of paddling my own canoe to combat with life’s constant tests. It may be hurtful to see some of my relatives defending our clan from the feud we were involved but on other hand, I thought it wouldn’t be fair if I will regret to my professional quest for after all it would benefit the entire family.

If I was convinced that such life smashing event brings us to dark side of life no matter how we tried considering that feud in our culture is timeless, I wouldn’t be as I am right now.I would have been in the far flung places in the mountains carrying rifle all the times. Thanks to God that he let me think that indeed, problem couldn’t be solved by another problem.

Same story was shared by my colleague – Aleem Abubakar Sharief. He wasn’t able to finish his secondary study due to financial constraints but when he grown and turned responsible as Fadre de Familia, he realized to at least finish his Arabic study and so he succeeded in it. He said he was thankful enough that his frustrations when he was a young man served as his inspiration because he truly understood that God wants him to be a preacher.

We see, our life on earth is full of challenges. God allows these challenges to interfere in our living because God wants to test our level of patients and commitment to overcome terrific problems. Right now, we are facing our individual struggles and in every step, it coupled with different challenges be it good or odd. OFWs cynical moment is another example of it. There are times we received good news from our loved ones in the country like when they let us know that they are bouncing for happiness for the money we had sent or in contrast, we learned that the money we sent was spent irresponsibly thus we feel devastated. Now, if we failed to understand the reasons behind such event, we would probably take wrong decisions like we will keep our loved ones to be dependent or we might keep grudge against them for their irresponsibility.

In our office setting, especially when we are working with different nationalities with different kind of behaviors, we usually encounter event that we cannot ingest like when we were reproached of something we are not responsible of or when we are a victim of blame passing. This event usually makes some people to decide quitting and end their career pointless. But for some who take such event meaningful in their quest, it serves them to be strong and more committed to their work. These are those people who likely to succeed in their battle.

You see, it's never the environment; it's never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events -- how we interpret them -- that shapes who we are today and who we'll become tomorrow (as Anthony Robbins further quoted).

I have eventful happenings in my life. You have yours too. But it shouldn’t stop us in our journey to reach the point of our aimed destiny. Rest if we must but don’t quit because experiences are just life’s constant test.

COMPASSION

By: Abdullah R. Sirad

Honesty is the best policy. It’s an old saying in which those people before us lived with. I remember my grandmother saying that during their time, when the accused says “honest to God or swear to God” he mean it’s really true. During those times, there were no NBI or police agents to investigate crimes but still they managed to live peacefully. People have high respect to one another because they strongly fear God’s admonition as consequence to their every deed. Once they committed mistake, they admit and repent about it.

Today, such simple kind of living does not exist anymore. I guess people of today are too intellectual that they could easily distort truth at their favor. We see crimes, oppressions and other injustices on TV involving people of high profile but most of those cases still remained unjustified especially when victims are those weak members of the society.

Rich people and those who have power in government continue to dominate in terms of control in the society. They use their authority and wealth to exploit poor people. They keep on deceiving poor people through their bogus benevolence to take away properties and rights from them. they used to let poor believe that they are compassionate enough but the fact is they are insensitive to the poor suffering and want to grab as much as they can – be it wealth, be it territory or be it symbols of power out of the poor ineptitude. They are overpowered by their greediness and hence can never understand poor people needs.

Politicians, for instance, who claimed to lead people and the country into prosperity, are the one stealing wealth from the poor. They used politics as alibi to balloon their investment while leaving the poor to their usual malady social status after they succeed in their plan. Almost all politicians claim that they are pro poor. That they would serve the poor if elected in the position and they will have plenty of programs to alleviate poverty.

The fact is rich become richer and poor become poorer. And the worse is more than 1.4billion of the world population live at poverty line or below(http://www.globalissues.org/article/4/poverty-around-the-world). In Philippine, it is said to have more than 30.6 million Filipinos or 6.12 million families who are suffering from poverty (2http://www.txtmania.com/articles/poverty.php). Yet, people in authority seem not affected with this. Now look whose talking. Where is then the compassion that these people are saying towards poor? Did they walk their talks? My answer is a vivid NO! Compassion really means sensitivity to others suffering. A person cannot be compassionate unless he/she is sensitive to others suffering. The current status of our political and social system in which poor are neglected and are not given due justice is an evidence that compassion is absent.

In my opinion, unless the powerful and rich section of the society walks the real meaning of compassion by treating the weak sectors in a humane way that our nation shall advance socially and politically. In Islam, the Prophet (PBUH) not only asked people to treat their slaves in a humane way and give them to eat what they eat and give them to wear what they themselves wear but also encouraged them to liberate them and set example by liberating his own slave Zaid and adopted him as his son and treated him most affectionately. The Qur'an says that "And those who hoard up gold and silver and spend it not in Allah's way – announce to them a painful chastisement." (9:34)

People who were given fortune in this material world should learn to be honest and realistic to every promise they pronounced. They must give active desires to alleviate others suffering. They must liberate their people from the dungeon of poverty. And compassion is the key to do this.

THOSE OLD PHOTOS… and MANG PIDOY

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


Man, in nature, has no photographic memory to retain all events that happened to his life. We may recall some events but not fully unless something caused us to remember them. There are too many events of both sweet and bitter that happened in our youth days but it seems to fade away in our memory as time passed by especially when we were hooked to something significant like we have our own family and work to spend much of our time with.

I am a lone boy among siblings. When I was a kid, I spend most of my day times with my friends because it was with them that I found compatibility. In fact, I had repeated my primary grade in school for three times due to abseentism. I always hanged up with my friends. I go for where ever they go. It seems as if I can’t live a day without mingling with them. I found my happiness with them playing all sorts of boy games and more. My buttock was thick enough of being beaten almost everyday by my father for I been invisible in our home the whole day.

Wait. Am not talking about how weird I was but the memories of those moments and the value of those people that took part with it. I am now on my 31st years of age (still young anyway, lol) and I been looking forward to see and meet those old peers of mine. I had tried searching them over Facebook and Friendster but ironically I forgot their names (I can’t even picture out their faces). Every time I used to reminisce how they colored up my life when I need them, I felt seemingly guilty. I don’t know how to exactly describe the feeling but it’s something like regrettable. I used to remember those forgotten things that we used to do every time I see young boys playing in the ground, roaming around everywhere, etc. It’s a heart wrenching of wishing how you can possibly turn back time and share same moments again.

It was to my great surprise when one time I logged in to my Facebook account and receive one inbox message. I really don’t have an idea who’s this person in spite of the visible picture he has on his profile. The tone of his message is hesitant, though he had recognize me on my photo the very first time he saw it, because he thought I might not consider him. We exchange messages to clear vague and doubts and when he started mentioning the foolishness we have like when we were escaping from our classes and went to the farm (bukid) instead to play and pick some fruits, there I confirmed that he is Ali Paca, my boyhood best-close friend. There then I stared to his photos and felt my tears fall down unintentionally. We meet the following day and we enjoyed the moment we were together after such long time.

Seeing old photos really reminds us of the wonder behind it and causes us to either laugh or weep. It reminds us of the whole history that it tells. In fact, we used to murmur as if we are communicating personally with the persons in the photo.

One of my friends, in Capitol University, tagged me of the photos she had uploaded in her Facebook account. The photos were taken in a two different setting but both settings tell so many histories; full of inspiration, passion, courage and love. I don’t wanna spell out every detail in it for I might be censured (lol) but Xena, Tere and Chingkai knows the deeper history. Huhhh… was the first reaction I had as I keenly take a look on those photos. I remember the first night in Camiguin when I was surrounded by angels, the ala-Melason Inlove candle dinners we shared (kay brownout man that time), the ala Derek-Angelica moments in the bayside, and those moments with Mang Pidoy in the conference room. Wooohhhwww!!! It’s really flattering to see poise of pairs in the photos. Those times you feel sky-hi because of the reciprocal feelings you are sharing and those times you feel ambivalent of whom to be with between Babe and Sugar. Hayyyyyyyy seems like a telenovela.

But above all, the cake on the table defines the sweetness of everyone in those photos as well as the value of its message and that’s what I treasured and will treasure the rest of my life.

S I P S I P

SOCIALLY INSECURE PERSON SEEKING INSTANT PROMOTION
By: Abdullah R. Sirad



When I was in grade school, I often used the word SIPSIP as my “hate” expression against my classmates who were getting too close to our teacher just to be given an extra attention and eventually a higher grades on their report card.

SIPSIP, at our age then, is perceived to be someone like a Leech that sips or suck blood once it gets to human’s skin. Thus we hate too much of being called SIPSIP. It was when I was in college that I knew what SIPSIP really stands for. My professor in social science explained to us that SIPSIP is actually an acronym for “socially insecure person seeking instant promotion” or popularity, privilege, power or protection depending on the situation that it fits.

I had then realized that a SIPSIP person is nothing different with a leech that keeps on sucking blood and then tries to leave unnoticed. Thus I stand still to my perception when I was a young boy that being a SIPSIP is being a Leech. According to Wikipedia, being a leech or leecher refers to the practice of benefiting, usually deliberately, from others' information or effort but not offering anything in return, or only token offerings in an attempt to avoid being called a leech.

I don’t mean to attack anyone or to brand someone as leech. I am only trying to express my perceptions on this behavior as it is a very observable practice in any field of organizations. Let me expound on it in a work setting. SIPSIP is now a normal practice especially among individual belonged to a certain company or organization wherein competition is at tough.

If you had worked and seated with a manager, you would observe how employees sarcastically tried to seek attention from him. Everyday, employee would come in his convenient time to boast what he has done in the whole day. He is very verbose of naming what he has accomplished when in fact he is only claiming other’s accomplishments. Eventually, he start attacking other employees, especially to those whom he thinks is a sore to his eyes. He would start to fall down and backbite the person whom they feel insecure with all odds and foul descriptions. After they convince the superior, there then that they ask for their real intention, which is to ask something at their own favor (e.g. promotion, popularity, privilege, power or protection).

Another observable approach among SIPSIP employee in seeking manager or superior’s attention is being a pet or third eye by their superior. Izhar Ahmed has this reaction to the latter. “People to protect their own interests and to get or preserve favors become pets of managers and supervisors. Catering to every wimp and cry, assuring they have no discomfort whatsoever. The other side, the hourable and self respecting sub ordinate limits his interaction to work related topics but ironically he is looked down upon and criticized for his self respecting behavior. This is what goes on in the office”. Ahmed is exactly correct of his reaction. These SIPSIP people watch every details of others’ action and make their own conclusion which is of course negative and reached such report to the manager or immediate boss. Boss, who doesn’t verify information’s received, immediately reacted and impose corresponding sanction to the subject person. Sounds very pity. People who hooked themselves to work were discredited of their effort just because of the false report against them.

Why do people use other people at their own benefits by providing false information?

It’s not wrong to listen to people below at our level. In fact, managers would help them grow emotionally because they (employees) would feel that they are welcome and that their ideas are valued. However, managers are not only superior in position but in the ability to evaluate justly all information that they are receiving as well. They can balance their reaction by appreciating the news received from someone reporting and by validating the truthfulness of the report in fairness to the one being reported. Managers should know that when their subordinates keeps boasting only for their accomplishments, gives flowering complimentary, or keeps on spoiling others identity; it means that these subordinates are blood sucker, a leech that is. These are those insecure people who fear that their wits are inadequate to be loved by their boss, thus they would do everything to please their boss even if it means hurting other people.

Because of lacking self confidence that they maybe out competed by their colleagues, they behave like a Leech so that they can win their immediate boss attention and trust. They keep on sticking with someone whom they think they can benefit at the expense of other people. Due to their fear that they maybe perceived worthless by their boss and eventually may loss their position or may not be given promotion that they chose to fabricate information against someone else in the organization.

Such practice is alarming if the concern boss continuously believes at them without cross-checking the veracity of the report. This would become an endemic problem for it will create partisan system among employees in the organization. It devaluate the image of the organization in general.

In a scenario like this, manager should live by the company values while maintaining professionalism in dealing every people and situation. He has to assure that he could not be fueled up by anyone to impose unfair actions against someone else. He has to remember at all the times that as manager; he knows more, well capable of, and could never be persuaded by mere complimentary or free riding. Likewise, “trying hard” employees should admit who they are. Using other people for their own advancement will not help them grow. Soon or later, truth will be disclosed and they would be put in a much bitter jeopardy. Being too intimate with the boss insinuate something else, a parasite look-alike shall I say. A Leech to be specific!

INCONGRUENT VALUES

By:bdullah R. SIrad


In management, we have the so called company values and personal values. A company values is embodied in the company’s core values which is vertical to the mission and vision of the company. It is a stable, evaluative belief that guides employees’ preferences in everything that he or she is doing in the workplace. Personal values on the other hand are the stable, evaluative beliefs that guide individual’s preferences.

In a multi-level company with diversified employees like where I belong at present, values is a constant problem. Although the company had clearly stated its values which supposed to be the basis for working relationship among employees, personal values still dominate especially to a company composed of densely diversified employees. This kind of situation resulted into “values incongruency” in which conflict and misunderstanding is the effect. In such, people in the company tend to be protective and sensitive. They do everything to protect their own preferences as how they believe to perform particular task just like how they were doing it in their own country. When these preferences are not given chance, employees tend to perform poorly and make ways to insist what they want to happen. Employees eventually used to group themselves according to their ethnicity or nationality and conspire against those people out from their own kind.

This kind of relationship brings incompatible decisions, lower satisfaction and commitment, and increased stress and turnover. Nasser Diampuan, as he experienced it within his almost 20 years of being an overseas worker, said collective decision making is not almost practiced. Decision making is usually being made abruptly without passing it through the immediate boss or supervisor most especially when the boss or supervisor does not belong to the ethnicity or group. Employees are only reporting to work for attendance so that they can maintain their earning. They lost their dedication that they don’t exert an effort to meet the work schedule on time.

I had been a manager for almost 5 years in Philippines before I worked abroad and there I learned that to establish a personal relationship; you have to spend time with colleagues or clients during break-time or meal-time. In this way, I learned that spending time to your colleagues is one way of knowing their personal values. This then lead to our compatibility and in long run could verticalized to the company’s values. Thus, a conducive working relationship.

These are some of the many differences I found about working relationship in a native land and in abroad. Based upon my perception, this is because of an international culture differences. There are things or act which is acceptable to other nationality but for others, it’s a form of stupidity. For example, among Arab managers, public confrontation is acceptable regardless of whoever is witnessing the confrontations but for Asian managers, it’s an act of unprofessionalism. For Filipinos (in particular), we are very concern about saving “face” or sensitivity. Thus, confrontations are being held privately.

One time, I posted a question in our company’s social network called OgerPedia – the Saudi Oger collaboration initiative for simple discussion about existence of conspiracy among employees in the company expecting that in such a way, participant would also express their experiences on conspiracy as result of values incongruency. Employees from the company’s various branches and sub-offices interacted. Here’s some of the comment given on the query:

Do you think the existence of mafia (conspirator) in every company or organization a threat or a trait?

Comment 1:
I'm 100% agreeable with you. It’s true that mafia exists in this company and it continues to exist because they are getting good benefit. They were protected by their fellows who belonged to VIP.

Comment 2:
mafia? .... you mean the Italian mafia?.... a crime syndicate?.... or just a local version of mafia?... like the yakuza of Japan or triad of china?

My reply:
I am not referring to any international mafia (syndicate). I used the term "mafia" to refer conspiracy among some group to some of the SOL Sites... It has been my observation that since we were composed of diversified nationality in the company, some used to group themselves according to their nationality and tried to conspire in putting down someone else... thus, the question.

Comment 3:
Isn’t awful to accuse someone or somebody without presenting solid evidences or proof that proves these speculations that mafia exists inside the SOL? In my own understanding the word MAFIA, is a group of wicked people who manipulate, operate illegally and do dreadful acts that fulfill the benefits of their own.

Does SOL do these things? In fairness to this company, doesn’t do this MAFIA thing.

SOL, actually helps thousands of employees to put food on the plates of their families left on their respective homeland and help them as well to cope up with their financial difficulties in some ways, isn’t it? Even though, there is negligence and inattention to some employees needs but still we cannot assume these as mafia performance. But in a way it is a charity works and a give and take scenario.

I do not intend to disrespect ones point of view and I do not defend the company as well. I am just looking at the bigger picture, that’s it!

Have a great day!

My reply:
With utmost respect, I am not refuting the fact that SOL in general had helped thousand of people in their financial needs.

For your information Mark, I am not accusing the SOL as a whole. In my recent reply to your comment, I refreshed the term mafia to conspiracy which I said "some" group of some SOL sites were doing. You are interpreting the term in an international context as you read it over internet thus you’re deviating the real essence of the query.

More so, speculation as you used it is just assumptions which need not to be justified with solid evidences and proofs. Lastly, which of any management book you can point out that says negligence and inattention to some employees needs is a charity and give and take scenario? It is an unjust or unfair treatment on the part of employees Mark and you must know that. Charity, as I understood it is giving more what the employees are expecting while give and take scenario means both parties are benefiting.

Thanks anyway for sharing your opinion.

Comment 4:
To mr. alonzo, you said it right, you are definitely right....

If some mafioso do exist in SOL, I think the company will not tolerate such in any way. and about the "grouping" according to their nationalities, I guess that is just normal to help or do some favors first for your own people before attending the needs of the others, but I think not to the extent of putting down someone.

Not like the mafioso who just cares about getting what they want and all the power and connections, in any manner whatsoever, legit or not..... "an offer they could not refuse".... he he he...

Comment 5:
In my view, when a group of people belonging to the same ethnicity feel isolated in a foreign land. Out of natural basic instinct, tend to “conspire” to protect their own rights, which they feel have a chance of being violated. The segregation is not proportionate to the number of people in a certain ethnicity.
If there exists a so called ‘mafia’, it’s a failure on the company’s part to create a safe working and living environment for its employees form different ethnicities.
Have I opened up a new dimension to this topic? Is it a valid observation of human behavior Abdullah?

My reply:
You had shot the ball at 3 points, Izhar.

Another Query:
Is there any other study about good employees vs. bad employees also?!

In order not to keep targeting the managers with direct or indirect darts, it will be wise to discuss the negative effect of bad employees on the efficiency/ quality/ image of any company.

In my opinion, this is worth thinking about as well, hmm?!

My reply:
The saying that goes “tell me who is your friend and I shall tell who you are” will likewise apply to describe a certain manager which may goes “tell me what kind of employees you have and I shall tell what type of manager you are”. In management principle, the behavior of the employees greatly impact to the way the manager handles them. It means that if employees perform poorly, managers are ineffective in carrying out their responsibilities and if they performs well it means managers knows their functions well. As to employees behavior and efficiency in production, managers have no reasons of retaining bad employees because aside the fact that they are degrading the company’s morale, they are a wastage on cost. The company is not only keeping a lid on cost to material expenditures but to the kind of manpower as well. Employees are supposed to be an ASSET in the company. Thus, managers should know how to discard employees who are seemingly a LIABILITY.

Colleague reply:
Adding to what Abdullah has posted. From a career perspective, it’s vital to have a good manager at the beginning of our career. If we observe ourselves, we have unintentionally picked up ways and techniques of our first supervisors. Coz when we first start out, the eagerness to learn things in the real world is so overpowering that by sheer accident we observe and apply the tired and tested techniques of our immediate supervisors and carry on and built upon the skills learnt.
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The question I had posted may not fully meet the answer or may be the participants were not honest enough of sharing what they actually experienced/observed; I am still satisfied for it has been responded.

Conspiracy, in any form and ways is a threat to company. Employees should understand that they were absorbed by the company because the company has trust on them to carry out its mission and vision through its core values.
This undesirable group values must be eliminated or at least be prevented for it would become threats in the long run. Although the group may not mean to threaten the company as a whole, it's still a damaging to motivation levels among employees to collectively work together.
Indeed, incongruent values often display anger, and frequent arguments between groups. This trait is a threat to company in general.

FORGIVE QUICKLY AND FREQUENTLY

By: Abdullah R. Sirad


Is it wrong to be tactless in saying what we don’t like to someone whom we cared most? Is it wrong to defend them regardless of what the situation is?

I admit I did so many mistakes to all people whom I cared most but I didn’t allow a chance to pass without patching it up. To my friends, I been too cruel of telling them straight forwardly what I wanted to tell them whether it may brings them happiness or sadness. This is because I cannot afford to see them being ridiculed by other people for their shortcomings.

Nice, a friend of mine is a trying hard that he would risk everything to show that he can perform something beyond other’s expectations. His work is of an “indoor” nature where he is supposed to do more on paper work. What annoyed me much is of seeing him climbing in those towering building taking pictures to people at work and to their work as well. At his age, he doesn’t suppose to risk him self just to earn “extra” appreciation from his boss considering that he could fall and die at any time. Much to this, I always see him seemingly too tired at the end of the office hour while complaining how much he had spent of taking that report and how pain seems to crack his head and body. I tried to ignore this though in my action, it insinuates my disappointment.

One day, he sent me an email attaching all paraphernalia asking for an assistance of how he could beautifully present his report. Another email was sent asking for the reimbursement of a digital camera which he had bought for his report. To my embarrassment of what I think is “OA”, I replied him all bitter statements adding that I don’t have ample time of wasting my time dealing with people who are just doing “magpasikat”. I heard from other friends that he was deeply hurt for what I wrote towards him. I felt guilty for what I did thus I took the chance to ask sorry when we met one night in a bus. We confronted a bit about the issue but both of us forgive quickly to one another.

Sometime, we really used to say or do something that upset to someone though we don’t intentionally mean to hurt them. When you cared for someone like your better half, friends and or siblings you have to do anything as if people have to walk over your dead body before they can hurt them. We used to be protective that even when it’s wrong, we still defend them because we love them.

Dr. Vicky Belo to Dr. Hyden Kho, Jr. for instance is a good example for this. In spite of the people’s flak against Vicky, she managed to defend and support Hyden from the sex scandal controversy he have done and in fact they were able to maintain their sweet romance.

But how frequent should we forgive or ask forgiveness? I am not a preacher but by experience, the long we kept grudges in our heart is the worse it became. Remember that Satan had been exerting strong influence on the human’s heart. He will make us do wrong by presenting evil as good, making us angry, jealous, envious, and we wrong ourselves and fall prey to his temptation. Forgiving is limitless. The Almighty ALLAH (GOD) had said through Hadith Qudsi:

O Son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me ascribing no partners to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.

Will people quickly forgive Marlene Aguilar of the things she did in protecting her son, road rage killing suspect Jason Ivler from the authority? What do you think Xena and Chaesa?

GOODBYE?!

By: Abdullah R. Sirad

What’s in the word “Goodbye” that many people believed to be the hardest expression to utter? Goodbye is a farewell remark to someone leaving. It is used to express an acknowledgement of parting. When someone is saying goodbye, it implies “good luck” to someone. But why goodbyes seem to cause scars in our heart and keep to tear our feeling?

It has been said that saying goodbye to someone who has been a part of our life is a worse thing one can experience in life. Parting away to someone who became part of our life engraved pains in our heart. It touches our soul especially when shared moments of both good and bad flashes back while being alone.

You may say feeling is mutual for someone leaving and to someone being left but for me, I would say someone being left feels much pain than someone leaving. I have some very interesting story that relates to what I am pointing out. First are photos of two birds which said to have pictured in the Republic of Ukraine where this bird is interested quickly to save his wife (Millions of people cry after watching this picture in America and Europe).

The wife got injured and her condition is very sickening. The husband felt so sad but all he did was only to look for food and attend to her wife with love and compassion. However, the husband was shocked when he found out that his wife died. He even tried to move her to check if she is still alive but he is aware that his sweetheart is dead and will not come to him again so cries with adoring love, stand beside her and scream saddened of her death. The last photograph below shows that the husband is aware that she would not return to him and that she departed him already. The male bird may not speak to say goodbye but sadness and sorrows is obviously drawn to his face as he stands beside her wife. Just like any human couple whose partner has died, would definitely have great difficulty of letting go, though the need to do this is necessary since there’s always a second chance in our life.

Another heartbreaking story was shared by my friend who preferred not to mention his name. He was totally obsessed to his girl friend as he describes his feeling. However, it was to his great dismay that amidst their stable-long time relationship, he found out that his girlfriend was arranged to marry her family friend’s son. They met clandestinely and talked about the crisis that ruined their precious relationship. The girl wants to run off with him but he refused to do it for he wants to preserve the dignity of his girlfriend. They ended their conversation peacefully as if no pain at all was felt. He took her a taxi leading to her home at the feeling of her husband. They kissed for the last time just before she got in the taxi and said “goodbye” to one another. They took the situation calmly as if nothing happened. The taxi runs while he stands still and as it fades away, he knelt down and cried terribly. He then leads his way to a bar house and got drunk believing that in this way, he could at least release the hurt that dot to his heart. In fact, I’m always booing him for his teary eyes every time we were watching TV dramas. I only understood him when he had shared to me his frustrations.

I also tried to ask an Indian friend of mine named Izhar Ahmed of when was the worse moment he had experienced goodbye in his life. He said he didn’t experience worse goodbye like parting away with girlfriend. But he felt, at least, the bitterness of goodbye when he left his family in India. Much of the truth that he can’t believe he would be leaving his family for the first time and worried if what kind of life he is going to venture abroad or would he have career to go back in India, he saw the real sadness to his mother eyes.

Elizabeth Bowen is right of saying that “Good-byes” breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say good-bye to regardless of whatever reasons it is being expressed. While it is true that it is used to express to acknowledge parting, it stills a heart-wrenching statement especially to the one we are saying it to.

However, painful as it is, we must learn to accept that nothing in this material world is constant except change itself. Leaving and being left is an inevitable circumstance.