I or WE?

By: Abdullah Ramos Sirad

When it comes to sharing of experiences, I truly pay attention to the one I am sharing with and take inculcation of every details being disclosed. Most of the time, I used to listen than to compete in bragging of disclosing experiences unless I am asked to elaborate on my experiences to the topic we’re discussing. I am a sort of a secretive person in which I hate delving on too personal experiences especially when such experience involved sensitive issue to other people.

One time, I was with a friend named Ali Ramos Pacasum and we were sharing experiences about work. I was a bit intrigued when he asked me of the difference between “I” and “we”. I thought he was only kidding so I differentiated the two pronouns based on what I learned in my English subject way back in school. He guffawed loudly and he said he is serious of his enquiry. Come to think about it in the work place, he told me. I had worked with Filipinos, Pakistanis, Indians, Moroccan, Lebanese in which this “I” and “we” pronouns are very annoying, he added. I guess you are insinuating something deeper about it, I replied. He nodded his head and then starts expounding on his statement.

I been working for more than 10 years in KSA as safety officer, he said. I had worked with different nationalities in different companies and one of the common experiences I had encountered is the distinction between “I” and “We” in the work field. I had several misunderstanding with my colleagues because as a team we were working altogether but our output is being claimed by one person, he further said. There’s came a point that I used to confront our superior when one time, at our presence, he bragged to the Project Manager by saying “you know Sir, I did all of these and those…and because I … so and so…”. The way he swanked strikes my ears because I know that he was a bit implying of discrediting our concerted effort in which he seems to say that if without him, our department cannot come up to that level of achievement, he added.

Hearing his history, I told him it’s really a common behavior in all work settings. Employees of unstable status feared of being kicked out and as defense, they have to look for a mechanism that would at least help them to be recognized. Obviously, these “I centered” employees would rather tend to be selfish knowing that in this way they would earn trust from their superior than being realistic and yet with fear of losing a work at any time. For them, the more important are the day-to-day opportunities in the course of relationship between them and the superior. Thus it is very difficult for them to say “we” when reporting achievements to the superior. At the expense of others, they are trying to take the merit themselves for their personal recognition even if it means hurting or jeopardizing colleagues.

And how do they live from being “I” centered? Saying "I did them” when in reality it was "done by someone else” and saying "they did it when mistakes were committed." By claiming only what is beneficial and not accepting failure is actually compromising the truth and as consequence, it cause suffering in the work relationship. Such behavior may not intentionally to destruct their colleagues or they may only be thinking of keeping their work or position. But whatever it is that they are intending of, it is still “I centeredness” or selfishness that is ruling them.