That Elusive Respect

By: Abdullah R. Sirad

Sometime in 2006, one of the housemates in the very popular reality show Pinoy Big Brother of Philippines biggest Network ABS-CBN confronted with her housemate and uttered a very remarkable statement at the climax of their argumentation when she said “Beatrice… Respect is not being imposed, it is being earned”! The other lady was claiming she was not being respected the way she likes to be respected thus she was responded with the latter statement.

Respect is a very elusive word. Everyone wants to be treated dominantly over anyone else. Some even dictates the way they would like to be respected. When they feel they were not treated accordingly, they tend to outburst as if they were a victim. Influential people, like those that are in positions, usually impose respect to those people below at their level. They live largely in hypocrisy wherein ordinary people were not almost given fair treatments and or due rights.

In a multi-business organization in which a large number of diversified employees are seen, misunderstanding caused by gap among managers and rank-and-file employees is very observable. Usually, people in middle management (managers) are too strict that they tend to disrespect justifications from their subordinates and sometimes their behavior leads to premature assumptions. This premature and erroneous assumption hinders management and employee morale for the reasons that intimidation is gradually created. Gap exists between them and as consequence; subordinates perform poorly for they perceive that their efforts are futile by not considering their justifications.
Respect is a much exploited term but why it is very elusive to actualize it? Nasser Diampuan, document controller in a multi-level company, when asked of his perception about the term respect he remarked “show me first respectful manner and my respect will follow”. Very clear. His perception about respect falls under the golden rule which says “Do not do unto others what you don’t want do unto you”. Most people are too vacuous that they don’t feel the pains of other people. They don’t care if others are getting hurt for as long as they get what they like. This behavior causes conflict, if not violence, because people are not being heard to their due rights. Those people in position did not try to absorb others feelings and even forbid their social rights. Being inconsiderate to others is a form of alienation and a sense of deprivation and ultimately outrage is the seed of it in the organization. Perhaps this is because disrespect breeds disrespect in response. On the other hand, accommodating and absorbing subordinates or ordinary employees in the organization are essential for social harmony and stability.
I remembered an informal conversation with my Pakistani colleague named Nawaz Ilyaz who shared to me his perception about respect toward colleague coming from other religion, a Christian so to speak. He saw his colleague’s tears falls down repeatedly when he greeted him a “Merry Christmas”. Nawaz said that was a tear of joy for it was his colleague’s first time to receive greetings from a Muslim friend in his long stay in Saudi. Nawaz said respect is to accept someone of whoever he is. That was a very reflecting experience. With that simple gesture, his friend realized he was considered as a member of the family. In return, his friend used to strengthen his respect to Islamic practices.

This insinuates that respect has to be accorded to anyone regardless of your disagreement. It is essential for anyone (especially managers) to separate the person from the behavior or religious affiliation for that matter. Someone has to consider that people in the organization come from different backgrounds, upbringings and environments that have shaped and molded them. People are all continually changing and evolving. When anyone (manager) respect people’s culture, tradition and beliefs or even a simple idea they will become the most loyal employees, co-workers or friend you will ever have. This is true empowerment.

Speak with positive expectation believing the best. Stating your feelings with positive expectation pulls people to the level of performance you desire. For example, say something like, "Abdul, you've always done a great job of giving your all in every account. As of late, however, you seem to not quite be yourself. Is there anything I can do to help? I want to see you succeed and be your personal best. Know I am fully committed to you as you are to this company." Affirming a person and your expectations of their success will endear people to you and cause them to want to live up to your wishes because they feel that their shortcomings are being respected.

Don't take what others say for truth. Instead, go to the source and have an open conversation. Get things out in the open and speak face-to-face respectfully.
Maintain a sense of humor and unconditional acceptance. Don’t always see only one side of the coin. Try to consider the other sides. In such a way, you are not being selfish for you are being open for possibilities. You don't have to always resolve your disagreements and conflicts to thrive. Otherwise, it will diminish the success that you are expecting. Sometimes, you have to accept people as they are, realizing they may never change.

Indeed, mutual respect begets mutual peace.

Stupid

Suppose you were once thrown to jail by people for massive cheating you have committed against them, do you still have face to beg people to serve them again?am pointing out Erap...He is just making a fool of himself of declaring his plan for the upcoming presidentil race. Stupid!

Cheating Overtime

CHEATING OVERTIME
By: Abdullah R. Sirad


We are living in this world of material deception where everyone seeks living in a simplest and easiest ways and means. Men, being too materialistic, intentionally distort truth to take advantage of what he desired. Cheating is a common ways and means exploited by most men to advance their living.

Wikipedia define Cheating' as an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others. In Islam, cheating is a heinous sin, a source of shame to the one guilty of committing them, both in this world and the next.

Based on the given definitions, it is obvious that cheating is wrong. It implies that it is an intentional act of taking advantage of something. Why men are so selfish that they still do it while knowing that this does not accord to both man and divine law?

I am not an excuse to this. I, myself, had cheated in different ways and means. Everyone cheated in different ways and means. Perhaps, it is because men are fallible in nature thus committing mistakes are inevitable. However, should we tend to regard our distorted deeds as common mistake caused mainly by our being human when we are doing it intentionally to take advantage of something? We are rational enough to distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. People are just too ambitious, they want to take instantly what they want in life.

Cheating is present in different field of works such as cheating in the election, in which candidate uses different tricks to manipulate votes just to be elected in a certain position. Cheating during exams among students to earn higher grades or remarks, cheating spouses, cheating time at work places, etc. to mention a few.

Let me elaborate further about cheating in the work place. It has been said that an employee should do the job for what he is paid for without any deception or cheating. In fact, every company oriented its manpower on its rules and regulations to let them know of the Do’s and Don’ts of the company and even imparted to them a “Code of Ethics” to morally guide and incline manpower to values worthy of emulation. In spite of these, many employees, especially those in the sub-offices, are taking undue advantage in the company. “Under-timing” and “over valuation of spent overtime” are some classic example of it. For example, employees are suppose to report at 6:00 AM but had reported at 7:00AM. Some are declaring false number of hours spent at overtime like equating lunch hour as overtime when he does not actually work or when someone declared he had worked until 7:00PM but the reality is he is somewhere else outside the office. Some also delayed their work so they can have reasons to spend overtime even if the work can be done in just one working day. This is very rampant in a segmented departments. It is very ironic but it happens in reality.

What compelled employees to cheat when they are rational enough to know that anything they can get out of cheating is a heinous sin?

I do not know why sinful deeds make people happier and satisfied. Everyone has reasons of his own doing but I have some ideas why people do such thing. Maybe some cheat because it is the easier way to take something rather than to exert much effort. Some cheats to acquire things they otherwise would not be able to have in order to advance their economic gain. This is (maybe) the reason why employees cheated reporting hour (at work place) or over valued overtime so that they can earn much amount in their pay slip. Some people cheat simply because they cannot resist the temptation to take what they want. In other word, cheating or stealing was been on their nerves. In addition, others cheat because they are earning minimal salary and because they want to please their family or to attain high income in order to satisfy the economic needs of their family thus they were tempted to do it. Worst of all, cheating happens because managers allowed cheating to exist in the company. Managers are so lax that they don’t spend some time to do ocular inspection or scrutinize work activities performed by their people.

Whatever reasons, everyone should remember that cheating is stealing. Everyone should consider that life is not about money. Earning minimal salary but earned through honesty, sincerity, straightforwardness and fairness is like earning vast blessings from Almighty GOD. We may not see its profits in this material world but we will definitely reap its essence in the hereafter.

(This case in point I had experienced in my almost two years of service in a multi level company in Saudi with large number of diversified colleagues.)

Noynoy Aquino's presidential plan

It has been a headline news that Noynoy Aquino is running for presidency in the upcoming election in Philippines. People may have deeper loyalty for his parents for the martyrdom they have done for democracy but Noynoy’s popularity out of people’s sympathy is different from being ready to get involve in the presidential race. Noynoy should humble himself by sticking to his present political status. He has to exert extra awareness…he is being used by some ambitious TRAPOs.

eye opener

there are things around us that are not seen, voices not heard, minds not spoken, emotions not felt and conflicts not resolved...unless we open our eyes to truth, so shall our senses understand these complexities in life..